"Favorite People"

My entire adult life I have used the term "favorite people" to refer to those who touch my life in some way. Some people use the term 'kindred spirits'. These are those people that I just *click* with. I think it started as a way to describe a guy-friend I had in high school. We never dated - he was just a really great person and a wonderful friend. Since then I've had several people that I've felt that way about - relative strangers, co-workers, friends, family and I've even fallen in love with one or two.


A few years ago, I decided to come up with a way of explaining what the phrase 'Favorite People' actually means to me. I devised the following metaphor. It's not something I believe in literally, just a way of expressing what I mean when I use the term. It goes something like this:

One day in heaven before you were born God came up to you with a pen and a piece of paper and said, "I want you to make me a list of all of your favorite people up here. I know you're about to go to earth and it's may be scary to be cut off from all you know. I want to make it as wonderful an experience for you as possible. Now, I can't guarantee that you will get to spend mortality with everyone on your list. Some may be in your family, some may be your life long friends but many you will only meet for 5 minutes while waiting for a bus or standing in line at a grocery store.

What I will promise is this - when you do meet one you will just know - this is one of your favorite people."

This is the part where I make disclaimers and invoke all sorts of copyright, trademark, patent and magical protection clauses:


The preceding is an original work and is entirely metaphorical in nature. No actual doctrine was invoked in the writing of this post. Any similarities to actual doctrine, past or future, are coincidental. The author claims protection by whatever international, national, maritime,state, local, metaphysical and eternal laws are applicable. The use of this material in talks, fast and testimony meeting, marriage proposals (etc) without prior written consent of the author is strictly prohibited. And, so help me, if this shows up in my email inbox attributed to Maya Angelou, Mother Teresa or Eleanor Roosevelt...... (oh OK, I'll just be honored)

Why I Want to Be a Nun

I have often wanted to spell out my list of pet peeves with online dating (and dating in general).

One of the first items to make my list is "People who use their profile greetings to air pet peeves". All that it accomplishes is making you sound like a negative jerk. I have to admit, I've been somewhat guilty of this in the past but I am now fully repentant and putting these thoughts in a blog where they will be read by nobody and can hardly be of any consequence.


These grievances are in no particular order.


1 ) Men who post pictures of their ex-girlfriends and/or wives in their photo album. It's a big advertisement of their expectations or possibly their insecurities. The way it reads to me is "If you are not at least this pretty do not apply" (perhaps that shows *my* insecurities... hmmm...). At the very least it makes it seem that perhaps they aren't quite over that previous relationship. It was so wonderful they want to recreate it with none other than YOU! Doesn't that sound fantastic? You can just cut the ex's face out of the picture and replace it with your own. She probably has a better body anyway.

2) The 24 Year old. For some reason, especially recently, I have been attracting the just barely legal crowd. And... *sigh*... it more often then not includes some sort of NCMO invitation. (as a side note, I had no clue what NCMO even meant until the first creepy invite) I've been told I should be flattered. I'm not. I'm told that making out with the young ones somehow will prolong my own youth and vitality (ewww! yeah, I loved Twilight, but I'm not really into the whole vampire thing.) I generally want to tell them, "Call me when you're no longer living in Mom's basement." or "Let's try again when your frontal lobe is fully developed." I want to say that but usually all that comes out is, "Sorry, I'm not comfortable with the age difference."

3) As long as we're on the subject of age differences.... The 50+ year old. I have some general rules of thumb about what age difference I think is appropriate. For instance, if the gentleman (and I use the term loosely) is biologically old enough to be my father - it's a no go. If I am not biologically old enough to have mothered his children - also not happening.

4) The ignorer. The online world depersonalizes what should be a very personal interaction. Some people think that since you aren't actually dealing with a person face to face, you do not have to extend them common courtesies. Acknowledging a person and politely telling them you aren't interested doesn't take all that much time. I don't chat with every guy that shows interest, I don't go out with every guy I chat with, and I don't accept every invitation to a second date - but I always let them know politely, and in a timely fashion, when I am not interested. It's entirely possible that most of the guys don't even care if I respond. But, there may be a few who are like me and put a ton of thought into who they bother to contact and really hate the ambiguity of an unanswered invitation.

4a) A subset of the ignorer - the "I'm not *not* interested" guy (we'll call him INNIG for short). This has only happened to me on a few (3) occasions (to varying degrees), and it's a good thing because this is much more insidious that the straight 'ignorer'. The INNIG is friendly and funny and even flirts, but he never initiates. If asked point blank if he's not interested he will avoid the question and make vague references to "liking to take things slow" or being "busy at work". INNIG will promise to talk to you later - but he never does, unless you initiate again then he returns to being all cuteness and fun. This scenario, of course, is only troubling because at this point (for some dumb reason) I've become (to varying degrees) invested in the sick 'relationship'. I wind up feeling like I'm some woefully unpopular girl who has a crush on the always affable but entirely inaccessible student body president. Guys! Give a girl a break - if you aren't interested enough in a girl to do at least some of the pursuing - LET HER KNOW!

All of this combined makes for one extremely overwhelming experience for little old introverted me. (INFJ Myers-briggs personality type). I would eschew it entirely, but my bishop says I can't actually become a nun.